Weird and wonderful

On the Golf Monthly Forum members' blog, there's a fascinating account by David Paul of a golf course laid out on an Australian opal field. With the first tee in located in the back of a pick-up truck, and the ambient temperature 30C on a cool day, this is clearly a case of, 'golf, but not as we know it'. It did make me think of some of the strange couses reported in Preferred Lies and how there must be all kinds of places where people play golf in unusual circumstances (I mean unusual in the design or location of the course, rather than in any temporary situation like the sea of mud we endured 'at home' last winter).
Having asked members of the Forum for their ideas on must-see (if not must-play) course, here's a quick guide to some courses that sound either weird or wonderful, or in some cases both, and are all closer to home than Glengarry.
Starting with Scotland, there are several votes for Cullen Golf Club on the Moray Firth. Here's a short quote from their site, 'The unbridled thrill of the course lies in its par 3s. A quartet of short holes from the 11th to the 14th is the highlight of back nine and each features Cullen’s signature landmark - the 80ft. Boar Crag.The 12th and 13th are the most exiting, playingdirectly over this rusty red colossus, which completely blocks the greens from view'. Add views of dolphins and local cullen skink soup and that sounds well worth a visit.
Shiskine on Arran has been mentioned before but also gets a vote for its views and unusual 12 holes - not a bad idea for anyone short of time, a true 'hidden gem' of golf. And with its remote location it's unlikely to ever get overrun by tourists.
The only English course mentioned so far is Church Stretton, but it's on my list to visit if only because it's close to one of our regular routes to North Wales. Par 3's again put this one on the map. Miss the green and the ball might return to your feet - but judging by the photos, the views might be worth the pain.
Talking of Wales, I've had several reports of Nefyn on a spur of land on the Lleyn peninsula as being a must-play experience, with a particularly spectacular back nine. A final vote goes to Llanymynech , favourite of Ian Woosnam, and one of the few inland courses to figure in this mini gazetteer of golf.
Sadly I have played none of these, and some are probably off my map for a while, but so as to have a course from Ireland, I'm going to nominate Glenmalure in County Wicklow. Its hidden in a small valley and is pretty hard to find, but we spent a week there two summers ago. Our first round was a bit of a shock as the entire course is on the side of a hill and the slopes are very steep. Probably not particularly difficult or long by most standards, but plenty of blind hits over gorse bushes and greens that you reach only to see the ball disappear down the hill on the other side. Its saving grace, like most of the courses mentioned here, is that if the golf is bad, you can always look at the view.
I'm going to leave the round-up of weird and wonderful there for now, but I I'm sure there are more places I'll add in the future.
Finally, thanks to everyone on Golf Monthly Forum who sent in suggestions.

Golf is a Good Walk ..

And if you ask me, that's the end of the story. We've only twice used a buggy, most recently last week at the picturesque Alice Springs Golf Club near Usk, and although it's pretty steep in places, we've decided that if we go back there, we'll leg it. Apart from anything else these particular buggies, although fitted with the latest sat nav equipment, were under-powered to put it mildly so that even I could have walked faster up the hills. And sitting still for minutes at a time (it was a particualrly dreich and chilly day) doesn't keep you warm, no matter how many practice swings you take. But as well as the comfort and speed aspects, to me the game just has a different rhythm and feel if you're not walking from shot to shot. Andrew Greig (yes, him again!) agrees with me. He describes a round of golf as being like 'a length of knotted string'. In a buggy you only get the 'knots' and lose the pauses between shots that makes golf what it is.

Buggies are great for those who can't get around without one, but until then, I'll keep wearing out the shoe leather.

BTW, no prizes for guessing what happened when we asked Google Maps for a route to Alice Springs. Not sure how many pages the directions would have covered!

Why eighteen holes?

After playing Shiskine (on the Isle of Arran), Andrew Grieg decides that twelve holes is a much more sensible length for a golf course than eighteen. At the risk of being cast as a complete golf heretic, I think he has a point. An eighteen-hole round, as we who play on crowded English courses know only too well, can take a hell of a long time, but playing nine only ever feels like a cup half empty (hence nine-hole courses are usually played around twice). Last year we had a tour of the Old Course at St. Andrews where our guide explained that eighteen holes was an arbitrary length and before 1858 courses could be of any length.
So in our time-poor society, who's for a rethink? A course I know returns to the club-house at the fifteenth, and that always feels a pretty good time to stop. I reckon to have 14 or 15 holes would knock an hour off most rounds. Result? time for more rounds, and maybe room for more courses.

Somerset, in sunshine and in shadow

Praise be to whoever first thought of the County Card system that entitles members of golf clubs to reduced rates on neighbouring courses on payment of a small annual fee. Now many county golf unions have teamed up to provide inter-county cards, and our Gloucestershire card (costing £10) is now valid at 450 courses over 13 counties. Admittedly the offer is usually limited to off-peak hours, but it’s still a great deal and today we treated ourselves to a day out at Orchardleigh in Somerset where we played for half the usual green fees (12th hole pictured here).

For me it was a first visit and I was instantly impressed. It’s an appealing course set in mature parkland with plenty of interest and some lovely views. Look very closely just above the treeline on the photo (right of centre) and you might just make out the famous Westbury White Horse in the distance. Sadly the chalk horse brought me no luck, because after an excellent front nine I went swiftly down hill. Still, it's a lovely course where we were given a warm welcome, not to mention a cracking bacon roll.

Who can ask for more? I may well go back some time and have another go at that back nine!

Gentlemen please look (and walk) away

I’m sorry, but nothing on this earth would persuade me to use the recently advertised Shewee, or portable urinating device for women, and if I am ever senile or incontinent enough to change my mind, I hope that someone will tell me to give up golf!
It just smacks too much of the kind of ‘surgical appliance’ I would rather not think about, never mind deal with.
As to the problem of being ‘caught short’ on the course, I fail to see why this is more of a problem for women than for men, and think that the solution should lie with the golf club, not the suffering golfer. Okay, so it’s easier for men to unzip and let flow, but does that make it a good thing? I play with men who see no problem in relieving themselves more or less in front of me, and I really wish they wouldn't. Similarly, although I’m no longer embarrassed at excusing myself for a quick sojourn behind a bush, I’d just prefer not to.
Luckily, many modern courses are designed with a return to the clubhouse between 9 and 10. Where this isn’t the case, I think there’s no excuse for a club not to provide toilet facilities on the course and keep them clean.
To me this is the sign of a good course. What a shame there are so few of them.

Distance or accuracy? Tales from the long grass

Equalling my personal best score made today a very good day. As usual with these things, it happened quite unexpectedly (especially after my Cornish disaster) and it did make me think about why last week felt so difficult.
The weather is the obvious candidate; a persisitent strong south westerly made 9 out of 18 holes in Cornwall a real battle, whereas today was warm and wind-free. But, to be honest, I don't think the wind was as crucial as the course set-up, and in particular the rough. On our home course, there are lots of hazards and some pretty long carries over water, but I admit that the rough is, with one or two exceptions, pretty tame. But at Bowood Park even the light rough was pretty testing, especially since it was getting regularly drenched with rain. My faithful rescue club wasn't always up to it, and in the heavy stuff I was pretty much stuffed.

Judging from recent events, staying on the fairway is just as crucial to the Pro as to the club golfer, and despite all that technology invested in producing distance, the majority at Carnoustie were leaving their drivers in the bag and taking irons off the tee.
It's a comforting thought. Maybe there's no need to make courses longer for the top competitions, just make the fairway narrower. Then the pros can give up their high-tech clubs and leave them for mere mortals like us!